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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Affirmative Action for the Ugly

I wish I wrote this, but I didn't. It's from Adam Kraemer's latest column over on Intrepid Media.

Affirmative Action for the Ugly

It's a proven fact that employers are more likely to feel favorably towards an attractive job candidate than an unattractive one. This is most often due to subconscious reactions to said candidate than any design on the part of employers to be surrounded by only model-caliber workers (the obvious exception being a modeling agency), but it still comes down to more ugly people being unemployed than pretty people.

And I think the country is screaming out for our lawmakers to do something about it. First, of course, there needs to be an ugly quota -- every office needs, say, 15% of its workers to be impossible to look directly at and another 15% to be only marginally attractive if, for example, "he would just get a hair cut."

The second step in my plan is to require all attractive women to do at least one movie nude scene before the age of 30 -- in a genre of their own choosing. Judging panel to be determined later (though I'm thinking maybe just me and Hef). This will achieve multiple benefits: 1) It may lead to the discovery of much untapped acting talent; 2) the attractive women in question might get the acting bug (or find out they like being naked in front of a camera), thus creating employment opportunities for those less fortunate who would never have gotten a second interview for a regular job if they'd been competing with a model-caliber candidate; 3) Men like naked attractive women. It couldn't help but raise the spirits of the whole country. Unless, of course, your daughter is an attractive woman.

There might still be a few details to iron out.

I would heap praise upon Adam, but it is quite apparent he doesn't need it.