Stupid spam

Spam. I get it on my cellphone since it forwards all my emails.

I turned off the notifier (except when it's charging) so I won't get bothered while out.

So I get home and plug my phone into it's charger. Bzzzt Bzzzt Bzzzt...

What the hell?

22 Messages?

I check my email and it's all spam save for two friends.

It's all sex spam as well.

The first 6 were the usual "make it last longer" "give her what she really needs" "check out my webcam" stuff. The rest were all for X-Tensor penile enlargement pills, except one. X-Tensor can add inches to my... well, we know.

No thanks, no thanks, thanks for asking, delete delete delete, until the "except one" email.

Not to brag in any way, but I'm happy with what mother nature gave me. I'm a little above average, according to all the stats I've been force fed (thanks Maxim and Details!), and have had no complaints. At least to my face. So the idea of paying some company that advertises through spam is completely out of the question.

Back to the "except one" spam.

It was for Farmgirl Sex. No, not Daisy getting it on with the Duke boys on the General Lee. Not busty young milkmaids playing in the barn with uncle Jethro. No. I wish. These young ladies were doing stuff with horses. I was\am in NO WAY turned on by this. The spammer was kind enough to include a few pictures of one of these bright, classy ladies hugging what I first took to be a sapling or small elm tree. I was so wrong. What in the world possesses these people? I do know they are geniuses though, after seeing the blissfull look on the girls face half concealed by the mammoth growth barely in her grasp.

My bottle of X-Tensor arrives in 2-3 weeks.